Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize