Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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