I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize