shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I understand Curling. That high.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
