Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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