i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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