I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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