So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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