I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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