Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
