I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
