they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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