dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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