Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize