Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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