i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
