Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We talked him into tasing himself.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
