found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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