I am in a vortex of obligation.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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