You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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