I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
