living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
