Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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