come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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