Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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