Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
