if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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