i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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