You really coming over, don't trick.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
