You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
