is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
