Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
