I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
