Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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