There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
