Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
