question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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