omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
