you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
she told me i tasted like america
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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