dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
3pm strippers are depressing
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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