I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
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