i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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