Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
