paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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