I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
