his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
