Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
