Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
