i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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