At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
