UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
