"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
