butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Randomize
