Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
