The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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