i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
