STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
