exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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