I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize