My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i think i have herpe
just one?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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